Ep. 350: A-Hole Or Oblivious?


In this one I tell you about a situation I recently encountered on the Devil’s Parkway that triggered a conundrum I’m still puzzling over, my upcoming trip to West Virginia, the continued hot dog hunt, an annoying conversation I had at Sheetz a few nights ago, and an unusual thing I noticed at the local Cracker Barrel. All this and a call from our old friend Patrick about the HBO Max show Naked Attraction.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Need twice the Surf Report? We’ve got you covered. Just pop on over to patreon.com/jeffkay, sign up for a $4 (or more) monthly donation, and you’ll immediately gain access to the weekly bonus shows. They’re each a full-length episode and are only available to supporters at Patreon. Upgrade today!

Also, we have a telephone hotline where you can leave your comments, questions, and suggestions. The number is 570-290-8151. Give us a call and there’s a very good chance you’ll be part of a future show. It’s all voicemail, no actual human will answer. If you’re too shy for such shenanigans, email us at surfreportpod@gmail.com

Playing Catch-Up With The Episodes!


Friends, I recently attempted to integrate the podcast notes into thewvsr.com, believing it would make sense to have one website for all things Surf Report. Well… that didn’t really work out the way I’d hoped, and I’m going to re-set this bitch. Below are the ones we missed, or were posted elsewhere. After this, we’ll go back to posting the program notes here, as before. Sorry for the chaos and confusion.

Ep. 349: The Universe Is Constantly Playing Jokes On Me

In this one I give you another update on my Fitbit sleep data, tell you about an absurd show I watched on Max called Naked Attraction, share an update on the Amazon Canada situation, and tell you about the impending visit to my parents’ house.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 348: These Guys Are Going To Be Virgins Forever!

In this one I complain about some maddening customer service problems I’m experiencing, share a call from my friend Tim in Dunbar, tell you about a conversation I had with my dad on Sunday, and a crazy conference call I dialed into last week.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 347: Hand Me A Sack O’ Something And I’ll Eat It

In this one I tell you about a baffling but ultimately successful visit to Wendy’s, some thoughts on the end of the baseball season, high-cuteness of the murderous neighborhood cat who hangs out on our porch, fact-checking a TV show set in the 1960s, and the two annoying yappers next door.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 346: I’m Not Out Looking For Trouble, But Trouble Finds Me

In this one I tell you about even more extreme homeowner annoyances we endured last week, a disappointing phrase that someone I love uttered, and my love/hate relationship with our visit of a favorite watering hole this weekend. All this and fresh new calls from Steve in Texas, Producer Zipp, and Ian in Scotland.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 345: I Mean This Was Almost Biblical

In this one I tell you about my attempt to just order food the way it’s supposed to be served, one of the craziest and scariest rain storms I’ve ever seen in my life, how baseball is taking years off my life, some insane news about Sunshine & Mumbles, and some more info about the comically-elongated hound.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 344: Return Of A Comically-Elongated Animal

In this one I tell you about the three long days we kept Dusty the wiener dog again, give you an update on the younger boy who moved out a few weeks ago, and share a call from our pal Patrick, who brings up the subject of the Barcelona diarrhea plane.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 343: You Can Take Your Neutrals And Shove ‘Em!

In this one I tell you about the demoralizing return of the blast furnace, an update on the murderous cat that lives on our front porch, our anniversary dinner at a semi-fancy Italian restaurant, three aunts in the hospital, an update on the younger boy’s relocation to Pittsburgh, an unusual baseball observation, and a couple of TV shows I’m watching.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 342: A Real Loud Prolonged Blast!

In this one I tell you about our ongoing obsession with House Hunters International and how I generally want to punch one of the so-called hunters in the face, Toney’s and my 30th wedding anniversary, and a quick call from Ron in Florida, which set me off on a lengthy (and questionable) discussion of travel toilet troubles.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 341: The Whole Idea Just Makes Me Feel Dirty All Over

In this one I tell you about a Twitter/X problem that’s causing me to think concerning thoughts, why I don’t really follow the news anymore, some Apple TV troubles I’m having, getting quotes on some annoying yard work. All this and fresh new calls from Ian in Scotland, Patrick, and Steve in Texas.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 340: Disappointing Vacations!

In this one I tell you about the vacations I’ve encountered throughout my ridiculous life that didn’t live up to expectations. Some because of locale, and others because of circumstance. It’s travel gone bad!

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 339: There Were Complications

In this one I tell you about our quickie visit to Pittsburgh to take in a Reds vs. Pirates game, and to start setting up the younger boy’s new apartment. As you might expect, there were complications, sizable complications.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 338: Gurgling, Bubbling, Boiling!

In this one I tell you about my maddening follow-up with the eye doctor, a visit to yet another fantastic pizzeria in this area, and a somewhat disgusting tale involving orange soda and the effect it has on me. All this and a fresh new call from Patrick on the hotline.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 337: You Look Like You’ve Been Hit By A Sniper’s Bullet!

In this one I share my thoughts on the Apple TV series Hijack, one thing I don’t like about most Chinese restaurants, some of the aggravations I’m experiencing at work, the younger boy’s impending move to Pittsburgh, and an insane story about the older boy’s recent job interview.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 336: A Spectacular Supernova Of Chipped Beef And Gravy!

In this one I tell you about the terrible week I had last week, which led to a realization that I should be more thankful when things are just “normal.” I list some things that I regularly take for granted, but definitely shouldn’t. And I share a call from the hotline from Producer Zipp, which leads to a discussion about the the Mothman legend. It’s a big ridiculous mess, which happens sometimes.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 335: I Felt Like I Was Inside A Kaleidoscope

In this one I tell you about how the universe paid me back for mocking another man’s podcast, an optometrist visit that kicked my ass and added fuel to my full menu of neuroses, a visit to the northern-most Waffle House in America, and a trip to Target to purchase stuff for the younger boy’s new apartment in Pittsburgh.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 334: Three New Calls To The Hotline!

In this one I tell you about my battle with two tubs o’ granite-hard ice cream, and take three new calls from the Surf Report hotline:

  • Producer Zipp: Attempting to put a curse on my beloved Cincinnati Reds for sweeping his beloved Houston Astros, and a discussion of why the Reds changed their name during the 1950s.
  • Wisey in T-Town: Surprised that my “worst job of all-time” wasn’t selling meat door to door, spying on a teen in a grocery store and catching him doing something gross yet hilarious, and his worst job of all-time, which sounds like pure hell.
  • Ian in Scotland: Another surprising fact about our good friend, and a question about whether I ever played sports as a youth.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening! I’m not sure why the sound isn’t great, I apologize for that. It’ll be fixed by next time, for sure.

Ep. 333: Anxiety And Aggravation Is All That’s Left

In another edition of Ridin’ To Work With Jeff I tell a ridiculous story about getting a leg cramp at work and nearly turning over a cubicle, discuss a conversation I had with my dad and the shots he took at me utilizing the memory of Andre the Giant, and bitched at length about the All Star Break and fair weather Reds fans.

I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening!

Ep. 332: Other Than That It Was Kind Of Fun

In this one I tell you about the cheap gas they were selling at Sheetz on the 4th of the July and the calamity it caused, the changes I made to the Surf Report website, and two day-trips I took last week:

  • To Philly to see one of my favorite bands, The Eels
  • To Baltimore for a Reds vs Orioles game, my first trip to Camden Yards

Both were great, but one didn’t go exactly as planned. By a longshot.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 331: That’ll Never Happen to Me!

In this one I tell you about some terrible mishaps that will never happen to me, and share three items from the notebook that might actually be funny someday — if I work on them a little more. You guys can let me know.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 330: The Worst Job I Ever Had!

In this one I tell you about the absolute worst job I ever had, and share a fresh new call to the hotline from our old friend Ian in Scotland.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 329: Dey’re Coming Down Dere From Canada!

In this one I tell you about the crazy-ass Canadian wildfire smoke we endured last week, share a hilarious clip from local TV news about it, discuss some fresh aggravations I encountered while visiting a Waffle House and dealing with our credit union, and a ludicrous statement someone recently made about the quality of the pizza in this area. Also: a disturbing notification my phone fed to me in a cruel, cruel fashion.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 328: I Nearly Died In A Fiery Crash!

In this one I tell you about:

  • How I was nearly decapitated on Interstate 81
  • How Toney sabotages other peoples’ shopping carts
  • The fabulous fraudulent cookie aisle at Aldi
  • Watching ‘The Last of Us’ on HBO
  • The ridiculous list of streaming services we subscribe to

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

Ep. 327: Your Car’s Ready, Boss!

In this one I discuss the season (series?) finale of Ted Lasso, another interesting interaction with Manny, Moe, and Jack, our annoying roof-replacement summer, my impending first trip to Camden Yards in Baltimore, the apparent Grim Reaper reputation I have at work, and a great documentary I watched about a drive-in theater not too far from us.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

+++

Need twice the Surf Report? We’ve got you covered. Just pop on over to patreon.com/jeffkay, sign up for a $4 (or more) monthly donation, and you’ll immediately gain access to the weekly bonus shows. They’re each a full-length episode and are only available to supporters at Patreon. Upgrade today!

Also, we have a telephone hotline where you can leave your comments, questions, and suggestions. The number is 570-290-8151. Give us a call and there’s a very good chance you’ll be part of a future show. It’s all voicemail, no actual human will answer. If you’re too shy for such shenanigans, email us at surfreportpod@gmail.com

Ep. 326: Can You Roll Down A Window On A Supersonic Jet?

In this one I tell you about:

  • Toney hitting a deer with her car
  • the new roof we need to have installed (ugh!)
  • the incredibly-stupid Airport ’79
  • the giant beer festival we attended at the original Woodstock site
  • three items from the Surf Report news desk
  • and new calls to the hotline from Steve in NEPA and Ian in Scotland

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

No New Jeffs Substack website
Surf Report mailing list

Wheeler’s Dog podcast
Producer Zipp’s podcast

Referenced in the episode:

Deer damage

Richie Cunningham following a beer festival?

Some high-stupidity from Airport ’79

Intellivision Lock ‘n’ Chase

Intellivision Night Stalker

Ian’s Instagram

The beer samples I had at the TAP New York Beer Festival:

Common Roots Brewing Light Years Ahead IPA

Paradox Brewery The Industry West Coast IPA

Hopshire Farm and Brewery Haze in the Hollow New England IPA

Destination Unknown Beer Company Hazy Escape Session IPA

Upward Brewing Golden Ratio New Zealand Pale Ale

Tradewinds Brewing House Boat IPA

Sloop Brewing Juice Bomb Northeastern IPA

Pressure Drop Brewing Auto Flower Hazy IPA

Community Beer Works High Tee Pale Ale

Mill House Brewing Company PK Pale Ale

Wild East Brewing Triumph Lager

Keg & Lantern Brewing Beyond the Haze New England Style IPA

Brindle Haus Brewing IPA

Bolton Landing Brewing Big Squeeze Imperial IPA

Stony Point Brewing Hessian Session IPA

Seneca Lake Brewing American Wild Cask Ale

Hudson Ale Works The New Black Rye IPA

Wagner Valley Brewing Cross-Section IPA

Saranac Brewery Clouded Dream IPA

Industrial Arts Brewing State of the Art IPA

Bright Eye Beer Company Pixy Stix West Coast IPA

Prison City Brewing Haze On New England IPA

Catskill Brewery Devil’s Path IPA

Bridge and Tunnel Brewery Get In, Shut Up, Hold On IPA

SingleCut Beersmiths Weird & Gilley IPA

1940’s Brewing 1940’s Lager

Ithica Beer Company Flower Power IPA

Bullfinch Brewing Miniature Giant Space Hamster Session IPA

Need twice the Surf Report? We’ve got you covered. Just pop on over to patreon.com/jeffkay, sign up for a $4 (or more) monthly donation, and you’ll immediately gain access to the weekly bonus shows. They’re each a full-length episode and are only available to supporters at Patreon. Upgrade today!

Also, we have a telephone hotline where you can leave your comments, questions, and suggestions. The number is 570-290-8151. Give us a call and there’s a very good chance you’ll be part of a future show. It’s all voicemail, no actual human will answer. If you’re too shy for such shenanigans, email us at surfreportpod@gmail.com

Ep. 325: Ridin’ To Work With Jeff!

This bonus episode is available to patrons at Patreon

In this one, recorded while driving in my car, I discuss an article I read about an everyday product that was launched by stoking fear and self-doubt in people, a quickie overview of the Woodstock beer festival, the upcoming Squeeze and Psychedelic Furs tour, the worst fast food screw-up in recent memory, a freaky phone notification I received from 1974, and an ongoing 1970s disaster film jag I find myself in.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

No New Jeffs Substack website
Surf Report mailing list

Wheeler’s Dog podcast
Producer Zipp’s podcast

Need twice the Surf Report? We’ve got you covered. Just pop on over to patreon.com/jeffkay, sign up for a $4 (or more) monthly donation, and you’ll immediately gain access to the weekly bonus shows. They’re each a full-length episode and are only available to supporters at Patreon. Upgrade today!

Also, we have a telephone hotline where you can leave your comments, questions, and suggestions. The number is 570-290-8151. Give us a call and there’s a very good chance you’ll be part of a future show. It’s all voicemail, no actual human will answer. If you’re too shy for such shenanigans, email us at surfreportpod@gmail.com

Ep. 324: Flagged In The System!

In this one I tell you about our just-completed trip to Myrtle Beach, and share fresh new calls to the hotline from Scott in Jersey and Tim in Dunbar.

I hope you enjoy it, thanks for listening!

No New Jeffs Substack website
Surf Report mailing list

Wheeler’s Dog podcast
Producer Zipp’s podcast

Referenced in the episode:

Pennsylvania Turnpike on Wikipedia
Overview of South Carolina fireworks laws
Blueberry’s Grill
Brookgreen Gardens
Photos from Brookgreen Gardens
Murrels Inlet Marsh Walk
Inlet Beer Garden
Pie-Eyed Parrot party boat
Drunken Jack’s restaurant
Southern Living article about Goat Island
The Gay Dolphin Gift Cove
Grand Strand Brewing
Bruce Springsteen ‘The River’ 8-track on eBay

Need twice the Surf Report? We’ve got you covered. Just pop on over to patreon.com/jeffkay, sign up for a $4 (or more) monthly donation, and you’ll immediately gain access to the weekly bonus shows. They’re each a full-length episode and are only available to supporters at Patreon. Upgrade today!

Also, we have a telephone hotline where you can leave your comments, questions, and suggestions. The number is 570-290-8151. Give us a call and there’s a very good chance you’ll be part of a future show. It’s all voicemail, no actual human will answer. If you’re too shy for such shenanigans, email us at surfreportpod@gmail.com